recently ive found that as a thing i like romance like i watch a lot of anime  more than most people im sure and i like developing relationships and stuff yeah. and tbh i actually get emotional over all that. i mean i am an emotional person irl but i dont think my mental state is really a part of this…posts…. point.  i am losing my train of thought.  i imagine it feels great as a real thing but no matter how hard i try i just cant …see that for myself? like how can you like people that intensely and just not …want…to ..be with them? i cant even explain it. like there are some people that i can have actual conversations with (ikr ive adapted to the in real lifescape) and i can you know feel confortable most of the time but all i can think is like ‘fucking leave me alone i hate you’  but then be like giving input and actively listening or something? that…. doesn’t have anthign to do with romance bvut i  dont know how else to explain the feeling???????????????????????????? i am a failure at everything and cant even explain simple things. anyway. maybe you could say that i just haven’t ”matured enough” or..something. which is ok by me i mean i dont care.  its mostly true if we look at things realistically but lets go ahead and not discuss all that.

can we all pretend this made sense and i just made your days a bit brighter with my rays of sunshine

also dont mind my sexy ass grammar and stuff adsklf;gleiabna;lkn;akaerbgthyj

((edit)) i put so many tags that they dont even fit?  so here they are unedited and stuff I DIDNT LIKE THAT THEY WOULDNT FIT I GUESS SO YEAH